I am an Advocate for Sexual Wellness for Everyone
Know Your Body
What's the most errogenous part of your body? The place to start sexual wellness is by understanding your body.
Diet & Nutrition
What you eat affects how you perform. Eating the right foods will have you kicking ED in the butt in no time.
Outside the Bedroom
Romantic picnics, getting a lot of sun, and exercise can help your journey towards total sexual wellness.
Inside the Bedroom
Ditch the same ol' missionary position you've been practising ever since when... Here are tips to ignite the spark in the bedroom.
Practice Safe Sex
Now that you're ready to play, don't forget to practice safe sex. ED is nothing compared to some of the STIs lurking out there. Be safe.
About Janssen Powers
Hello. My name is Janssen Powers. You might know me from my podcast and YouTube channel.
In 2014, I suddenly became impotent after a particulary nasty breakup with my ex-girlfriend.
It's been a journey for me to regain my sexual potency. I started this blog to document my struggle, failures, near-failures, successes, and what-a-few.Read More...
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Sexual health receives far too little attention in the health care industry. Societal attitudes about sexual dysfunction also influence this situation, because for a man to admit to impotence or erectile dysfunction can result in ridicule by friends or co-workers.
It is very unfortunate that such a fundamental topic of personal importance is so often overlooked or not taken seriously.
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How to Maintain Sexual Wellness (FAQs)
What Can I do About Premature Ejaculation
One common goal with all men is to last longer during sexual intercourse. And if a man can't last as long as they'd like, he will feel inadequate because of it.
According to recent studies, one-third of men said they've experienced problems with premature ejaculation or climaxing too soon. And although it is the most common sexual dysfunction, premature ejaculation is very difficult for men to discuss.
|The causes of premature ejaculation often include anxiety, fear stress, or discomfort with your partner. It is less likely to occur if the couple comfortable with one another and the setting.
The good news is that if you are willing to invest the time and effort, premature ejaculation is usually curable. In fact, as many as 80-90% of men with this problem learn better control through therapy.
Here are some techniques and ideas to help control premature ejaculation:
Squeeze Technique: Three or four strokes before you are about to ejaculate away - stop. Squeeze the base of your penis with your thumb and index finger. Apply firm pressure to the tube running along the underside of the penis (the urethra).This lessens the tension and holds back the ejaculatory response.
Desensitizing creams: They contain topical anesthetics that dull sensation in the penis and help you last longer. However, many men claim these creams decrease stimulation and make intercourse less pleasurable.
Condoms: They have long been known as protection against STDs and pregnancy. But they can reduce the amount of stimulation experienced during sex, making the sex act longer.
Position: The position of lovemaking may also affect your ability to perform in bed. The man-on-top (missionary) position, with the man on top, may not be the best position if you're trying to control ejaculation. Men have to hold themselves up, making it harder to control their ejaculatory timing. Try a new position - like woman on top. It may be more relaxing for the man and help ejaculatory control.
Drugs or alcohol: Don't use them. They distract from the task at hand. And interfere with the self-awareness that is crucial when you're learning ejaculatory control.
Finally, relax and breathe deep. Premature ejaculation can usually be corrected with patience, effort and knowledge.
Does a Low Sexual Drive Equal to Impotence?
Many people will experience low sex drive (or low libido) at some point in their lives. Both men and women can experience low sex drive - although it's more common in women.
The causes of low sex drive are not always obvious. It can be the result of physical conditions, psychological issues or other factors.
The signs can include:
- Less frequent sexual thoughts
- Reduced sexual desire
- Reluctance to initiate sex
- Lack of desire for sex (especially after going without sex for an extended period of time)
A low libido in men is often mistaken for erectile dysfunction or impotence, but they are not the same thing. Men who suffer from impotence have normal levels of desire but can't follow up on those desires. Whereas men with low sex drive can perform but don't have the desire to.
What are the causes of low libido in men? They can be either physical or psychological. Here are some of the most common factors:
- Drug abuse (both prescription and non-prescription, but especially antidepressants)
- Low testosterone levels
- Major diseases and illnesses (such as diabetes, arthritis, spinal injury, epilepsy or cancer)
- Sexual hang-ups
Factors that cause low sex drive in women are often very different from in men. But like men they can be either physical or psychological. Here are some of the most common risk factors in women:
- Pain during intercourse
- Illness/Sickness (such as cancer, hysterectomy, mastectomy, arthritis, spinal injury, epilepsy)
- Drug or Alcohol Abuse
- Fear and/or anxiety
- Relationship Issues
- Sexual Abuse
If you think you're suffering from a low sex drive, see your doctor for a complete physical examination. He/she will be in order to rule out any obvious medical problems such as depression, a hormonal imbalance or a vitamin deficiency.
If no physical problems are uncovered, you may want to seek help from a mental health professional. The mental health professional will ask you a few basic questions, such as:
- Are you often tired?
- Do you feel angry, anxious, or guilty about sex?
- Have you recently gone through a stressful event? (such as a new job, a firing from your old job, financial problems, troubles, a move, a new baby, or death of a loved one)
- Do you have a place for uninterrupted sex?
- Are you and your partner having difficulties in your relationship?
Remember, many people experience low sex drive at some point in their lives. It's common and nothing to be ashamed of. And if you and your partner can't fix the problem by discussing it, then a professional usually can.
Different Locations to Spice Up Your Sex Life
You've done the sex on the living room floor, sex on the kitchen table and sex in the shower routines. And they were fun. But you want to take it to a higher level of excitement.
One of the easiest ways to spice up the physical side of your romance is to switch to more public locations. Decide as a couple what is best for you.
Here are a few of the ore popular "public" locations that people are using to add excitement to their sex lives:
Cars: The car has always been a popular location for love making. (Remember high school?) One reason car sex is so exciting is that you're in a public place and someone might see you. But be careful. The person that sees you might be the police. And exposing yourself in public is illegal.
Cemeteries: Can be exciting and scary at the same time. Headstones can be especially nice and cool in the hot summer.
Beach: The beach can be a great place for outdoor sex. If the beach is you can find a section where you won't be spotted. If not, enjoy the thrill of making love under a blanket, in full view of hundreds of people.
Ocean: Move from the beach into the water. It offers more privacy and people won't be able to see what you're doing.
Rooftops: Especially in large urban settings. Rooftops provide a romantic view of the city and great solitude. But don't get too close to the edge.
Theatres: Try to choose a movie or time where the theater won't be crowded. Even so you probably won't be able to engage in full blown sex. It's just too public and too easy to be spotted.
Elevator: Can be a difficult location for public sex - you don't know when the doors might open. Hitting the emergency stop button will buy you some time. But be quick - it won't be long before the maintenance crew will come to investigate why the elevator isn't running.
A friend's party: A change of scenery in someone else's house brings out the urgency of the hurry-up-sex.
The office: Find a room with a big desk - and a door that locks.
In the Woods: The woods have a sense of privacy. The cool breeze, the earthy smell and being under the sun, the moon and the stars bring out our primal back-to-nature instincts.
Should You Go The Sex Toys Way
Sex toys (often called sex aids) are devices used to enhance or increase sexual pleasure. Most sex toys can be used with or without a partner. Most people use them as an enhancement or variation from their normal sex routine. The list of sex toys is long and varied.
Here are some of the most common and popular ones:
Vibrators. Probably the most common sex toy, vibrators can be battery powered or electrical. They come in many different sizes and shapes and with variable speeds to allow for personalized stimulation. Most are battery powered, penis-shaped in various diameters and lengths.
Vibrators can produce intense sensations. So be careful until you get the hang of it. Try using a water-based lubricant. It can make the vibrator more comfortable and stimulating.
Finally, never use a vibrator in the tub - it can cause severe shock - and be aware battery-powered vibrators can overheat.
Ben Wa Balls. Used for centuries in the Far East, this sex toy consists of two metal balls. One ball is solid and is inserted into the vagina (near the cervix). The second ball is partially filled with a liquid - traditionally mercury. It is then placed in the vagina near the first ball. Movement causes the liquid-filled ball to hit the deeper ball. This sends vibrations through the vaginal area. Women traditionally use Ben Wa balls on their own but they can be used with a partner.
Dildos. A dildo is used primarily as a penis substitute. It can be used for vaginal, oral or anal penetration. Dildos come in many sizes, colors and materials. Most are shaped like penises, although dildos come in a variety of shapes.
The dildos provide a feeling of fullness and thrusting that many find very satisfying. For a dildo used for anal sex should have a flared base to prevent it from slipping in so far you can't pull it out.
For a change of pace, try using a dildo harness with a partner. A dildo harness essentially are straps that wrap around your hips & butt to hold the dildo in place so that you can penetrate your partner.
Let your imagination be your guide.
Creams, Lotions, and Oils. The variety of creams, lotions, and oils is endless. Coming in various scents and flavors, creams, lotions, and oils are meant to make touching, caressing and massaging more sensuous. (Although they are often used as lubricants during intercourse.)
The scent and feel of creams, lotions and oils can be very arousing. And their flavors can be a turn on for couples into oral sex and body kissing.
In conclusion, remember that the use of sex toys and aids is purely a matter of individual preference. While many couples find sex toys are a healthy addition to their relationship, others may prefer not to use them and may even feel threatened by them.
Foods That Act as Natural Aphrodisiacs
Aphrodisiacs are food, drink or some other device used in the hope and belief that it will increase sexual desire or improve sexual performance.
For centuries people have searched for ways to enhance sexual desire and performance. Foods, plants and animal parts have all been tried over the years - with varying degrees of success.
Check out our list of aphrodisiacs. But be careful - not all aphrodisiacs are what they seem. And some may be dangerous if taken by the wrong person.
Asparagus: Ignoring the obvious sexual implications of its phallic shape, asparagus is rich in vitamin E, a vitamin long believed to be essential in the production of sex hormones.
Avocado: Like the asparagus, avocados are rich in vitamin E - an essential element in production of sex hormones.
Bananas: Bananas are a great source of potassium and B-complex vitamins, two vital elements in sex hormone production.
Beverages: If you're looking for a reason to justify spending $3.00 for your daily cup of java, coffee reportedly has aphrodisiac effect on many people. Another Double Espresso, anyone?
Chocolate: Chocolate contains ingredients which cause the brain to release serotonin, a hormone responsible for feelings of relaxation and pleasure. The higher quantity of cocoa in the chocolate, the more effective it will be as an aphrodisiac. So choose dark chocolates. And if you still need a reason to indulge, chocolate contains more antioxidant properties than red wine.
Ginger: This herbal root is a stimulant that purportedly increases circulation. With increased circulation comes increased sensitivity - especially to you erogenous zones.
Ginkgo: This herbal remedy has long been used to help alleviate age related memory loss. Recently it has been reported to have been used to successfully treat sexual dysfunction. Ginkgo releases nitric oxide, which widens blood vessels in the genitals and penis. But be careful. Ginkgo should not be used by anyone taking blood-thinning drugs or by anyone with heart disease.
Oysters: Historically, oysters have enjoyed a reputation as an erotic food. Research now shows them to be a rich source of zinc, a mineral required for the production of testosterone - the hormone behind the male sex drive. Testosterone is believed to stimulate the female libido as well. Oysters are low in fat and high in glycogen and are a healthy source of phosphorus, iodine, and zinc - all important elements in sperm and testosterone production.
Spanish Fly: This notorious love potion is actually dangerous. It is made from the dried body of a special beetle. Spanish fly works by irritating the urinary tract and sending a rush of blood to the male genitals. Not only is it dangerous - it is illegal in the United States and many other places.
Yohimbine: Long used in parts of Africa, Yohimbine is extracted from Yohimbine bark. It facilitates erections by stimulating the nervous system and increasing blood flow to the penis. But be advised, Yohimbine is a powerful herb and should be used only as directed.
Eating Your Way to Better Sex
You are what you eat. You've heard the saying. And it's true. Your diet determines, to a large extent, your overall health. But did you know that what you eat can have a dramatic effect on your sexual wellness?
Here are some basic foods you may want to add to your diet to increase your sexual prowess, sexual health and enjoyment.
- Ginkgo biloba: Research has shown that the herb Ginkgo biloba can increase blood flow and produce better erections, both in terms of spontaneity and increased in hardness. Ginkgo biloba is available in capsule and liquid form in grocery, drug and health food stores
- Nuts, seeds, and grains: Inflammation of the prostate gland reduces your ability to have erections. Foods such as nuts, seeds (especially pumpkin seeds) and whole grains contain agents that decrease inflammation of the prostate.
- Zinc: This mineral is linked to fertility, potency, sex drive and long-term sexual health. It's critical to sperm production. Low zinc stores have been linked to low semen volume and testosterone levels. Getting your daily zinc requirement is easy - eating four ounces of beef per day will take care of about half the requirement. Oysters, turkey and beans are other good sources.
- Serotonin: Your brain produces serotonin. Lack of serotonin can be a major factor in depression. In addition, low levels of the chemical can be the cause of weak ejaculations and a low sperm count. Serotonin is produced naturally by eating carbohydrates combined with foods containing the amino acid tryptophan - meat and dairy products. Try eating fish, poultry, lean beef, bread, and pasta (in any combination) to boost your serotonin levels.
- Coffee: Studies show that men and women who have at least one cup of coffee per day are almost twice as likely to describe themselves as sexually active. And men who drink coffee regularly report erection problems. But be warned: caffeine intake should be moderate (1 or 2 cups per day); more than that can make you edgy and irritable.
- Calcium: Your muscles need calcium to contract and spasm. So without calcium, there'd be no orgasms. Dairy products, fish, bread and green vegetables are all high in calcium.